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All the guys at the club clapped loudly and some of them even approached the stage.One guy asked me to bounce my tits against his face. More jokes, I thought. I don't have tits to bounce, I thought. But then noted that I did have tits. They had to be fake; someone probably glued them on while I was passed out. More jokes. I would show them who would get the last laugh. I approached the guy and rubbed my tits on his face. Strangely I felt his face against my chest. More money was stuffed into my thong panties. I could have sworn that my panties were bigger just a few minutes ago. I was so drunk. I stayed on the stage for couple of more songs, alternatively humping the pole and joking with one of the guys. It was fun. Then I noticed the security guard motioning me to get off the stage. I guess the joke had run its course. I gingerly walked off the stage. I was careful not to trip on my high heels as I got dressed in my red mini-dress. I could have sworn that it was a robe when I took. She punched the answer button. “Hello?” “Hello. Mrs. McQuire?” “This is she.” “This is Doris, from the realty company. You left a message that you and your husband are interested in making an offer?” “Yes. We talked it over last night, and got online and looked at interest rates (this was a lie, but Alice thought it might make her sound a little less educated) and decided we can afford two hundred sixty thousand. So we thought we could offer two hundred fifty thousand on the house, and an extra ten thousand for the piano.” “Well, the place has been on the market for over thirty days, so the seller might be willing to drop the price a little. I know they are very motivated. I will draw up the contract, contingent on financing and title insurance and…” “Contingent?” interrupted Alice, still playing dumb. “Oh, yes,” Doris replied. “It has to have a contingency clause, because otherwise, if you couldn’t get financing for some reason -- not that you and your husband could possibly have.
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